In the middle of an earnest discussion among a group of astrologers last night in the pub, a report into Kim Kardashian’s burglary in Paris came on the TV news. Initial bemusement among the stargazers gave way to a discussion of the Kardashian phenomenon and inevitably her horoscope, and she dominated the conversation for the next 20 minutes. She just did.
Kim Kardashian is an archetype as old as history, the wealthy glamourpuss who is famous for being famous. We had Lady Diana, Jackie Kennedy, Edie Sedgwick, the list is endless. If there were Instagram accounts and sex tapes in 18th Century France or 1st Century BC Egypt, Marie Antoinette and Cleopatra would surely have had many followers. Parashara says, incidentally: “Raised, fleshy and widespread hips in a woman are auspicious in effects” (BPHS, 81:24).
Needless to say, Kim’s chart is very powerful, showing savvy and good connections, though a certain vulnerability. Mars rising in Scorpio gives drive and charisma, while Venus in sexy, glamorous Leo/Purva Phalguni in the 10th is the perfect signature for a publicity-hungry socialite. Venus exchanging signs with neecha Sun in the 12th shows her relationships and private life become public property, while a super wealth-signature of Jupiter and Saturn in the 11th gaze at 9th lord Moon on its own in the 5th.

Kim Kardashian 21st October 1980, 10:46am, Los Angeles
There was inevitable speculation whether the Paris jewel heist was a PR stunt: sadly, it’s the kind of thing Kim Karshashian might do. Yet the astrology in this case backs her story: Ketu mahadasha, shows renunciation and ‘accidents’, and acting as the agent of Saturn in the 11th shows potential debt and depletion. Sun antardasha speaks for itself as a debilitated planet in the 12th house of loss, thieves and confinement: she was tied up in the bathtub while her hotel room was ransacked. Transit Saturn is just past natal Mars on her ascendant, with transit Mars in her second house of luxury goods. Transit Jupiter was exactly conjunct Saturn, which may have been a saving grace – bad that the robbery happened, but how much worse it could have been.
Among the Paris raiders’ haul was a $4m diamond ring, presumably among other diamonds in the Kardashian collection. The gemstone of her seventh and twelfth house lord is assuredly not one for a Scorpio rising native, and would become a positive health hazard. With Mars rising, Kim might not need to wear coral, but a pearl for her lonely Moon and a ruby for her weakened Sun might spare her this kind of ordeal happening again.